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Dog (Elden Ring humor)
Dog ahead
This is not absurd. It’s everyday sulcata behaviour.
So the pet shop sells you a cute little hatchling tortoise. Twenty years in, he’s the diameter of a large pizza, weighs about 75kg, and will plow his way through anything. If he wants in, good luck stopping him. And he’s going to live for another 75 years.
I hear the larger species of turtle enjoy pizza with unusual toppings
