problem seems to be […] intertwined language with culture
You lost the argument right here. Language is as fundamental to culture as the sky is blue.
The rest of your post amounts to “communication is important to function” and you are not wrong on that front. But you put no weight on the importance of culture too.
Consider this your wakeup call, that just because you don’t personally care about society having an identity doesn’t mean the rest of us don’t.
No one, either in comments, nor in article, actually touches on form factor. The fact is that sedans are only good for moving people, but there’s better options for that: like cycling or train. The real benefit of an SUV’s form factor (or pickup, or station wagon, or hatchback) is that you can move cargo with it, the kind of stuff that you can’t move with efficient people movers.