I'm back on my BS 🤪

I’m back on my bullshit.

  • 6 Posts
  • 30 Comments
Joined 4 months ago
Cake day: May 28th, 2024
  • I'm back on my BS 🤪@lemmy.autism.placetoNo Stupid Questions@lemmy.world•Why do right-wingers say that minorities must create their own stories if they are going to complain in the same way?English
    2·
    2 months ago

    My personal hypothesis is that they are people that are generally unhappy with something in their lives, but most people (including me), are generally bad at finding the valid cause of our discontent. Someone comes along and confidently tells them that their unhappiness is someone else’s fault. This helps the unhappy people feel better because they feel blameless, superior, and solves their confusion. They also now can do whatever while blaming someone else for their issues. The person that distracts them gains power because the unhappy grant it to them to fix their made up problem.

    The thing with this approach is that it needs continued unhappiness. Otherwise, the whole thing falls apart. So, manipulative news media musy continually sow anger and division to maintain the scheme going. The people you see that are upset over things that are completely trivial to them have lost control of their minds. They have fallen to propaganda. Unfortunately, the people that have been scapegoated pay the price.

    In other words, it doesn’t really matter to them. It has no effect on their lives. They’re just made to feel like shit, then told to blame someone else. That comes out as giving a shit about a physical characteristic the main character of a movie.

    Edit: For the people scapegoated, the main character means a lot. It validates their existence and places them in a position where they are powerful and contribute to society.

  • I'm back on my BS 🤪@lemmy.autism.placetoNo Stupid Questions@lemmy.world•Is my girlfriend gaslighting me? (Edit: No, she is not gaslighting me, but may have some other issues.)English
    16·
    3 months ago

    Asking people online if your partner is gaslighting you is serious concern for your situation, whether her behaviors were actually gaslighting or not. Your intuition is telling you something is wayyyyy off. Also, that you had to ask us and not close friends, family, or her herself is another major red flag. Either you are socially isolated and have no one to ask or you are protecting her reputation because you know that those behaviors would be judged quite poorly by people that care about you.

    As someone that has dated something like that before, I know my words will not mean much to you. You will undoubtedly rationalize her behavior as her being justifiably triggered, reacting to childhood trauma, making a good point, cute because that’s how she communicates love, etc. Regardless, make a note of what everyone here is telling you. Her behaviors were not acceptable at all. There is no justification for them, and that you said it was the usual is troubling.

    The best anyone can do for you now is be a voice of reason and direct you to learn about psychological and emotional abuse so you can see it and decide for yourself. Here are 2 resources that I found helpful when I was in your situation:

    • Save Your Sanity is a series of videos/podcasts on being in a relationship with difficult people. She has all sorts of topics that are relevant, including how to spot gaslighting.

    • The other is the book Should I Stay or Should I Go? Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist by Ramani Durvasula. I like this one in particular because it has a questionnaire in it you can take to help you notice of you’re in a toxic relationship. Taking that questionnaire was the catalyst that started my escape. Check it out and be truthful. If she’s okay and this was just a unique experience, then there is nothing to worry about and the book will help you confirm that.

    I highly recommend that you don’t tell you partner you are looking into this. Ask anyone that’s been in an abusive relationship. Shoot, make another AskLemmy post asking this. Telling a potential abuser/narcissist/manipulator that you are on to them is a HUGE mistake. Instead, look into it on your own during your free time. If she accidentally catches you, say you ran into this online and it seemed interesting. A healthy partner won’t even think about it anymore. If she starts with an interrogation, gets upset, or suddenly becomes the best girlfriend ever, that’s manipulation.

    Certainly, she will commit more odd and questionable behaviors in the future. I urge you to maintain a secret log of her behaviors so that you can stay sane and notice. Please feel free to reach out. Don’t stay isolated. You can make another post, and you can even contact me directly via Matrix (see my profile). Good luck!

  • I'm back on my BS 🤪@lemmy.autism.placetoNo Stupid Questions@lemmy.world•Is my girlfriend gaslighting me? (Edit: No, she is not gaslighting me, but may have some other issues.)English
    3·
    3 months ago

    It’s true that the place may be dangerous. However, if it were, (1) you’d think OP would have known that already and not made the mistake of letting her walk in alone, and (2) she didn’t have to start with the absurd questioning in the middle of the night. She could have waited for a time when both of them were more mentally available.

    I’ve been in dangerous cities and situations. You either address issues in the moment or if it’s no longer an immediate issue, whenever it’s a good time. They sleep in separate rooms, yet was standing over him in the kiddle of the night, then once he woke up, she started with an angry guilt trip disguised as fear. That was 100% her punishing him so that he wouldn’t ever not make her the priority at all times again.